The Trance of Irritants

1

It began when I couldn’t find my phone.

I knew it was where I’d left it but I didn’t know where that was.

I began looking for it sometime in 2016, then after three long years I gave up looking.

Three long years of bad feelings, years that were out searching for me, and not only me but almost everyone I knew—it was like someone unwelcome had sat down in the corners of our eyes.

2

I settled on silence as a new way of life. Silence was the best I could do. And slowly, around 2018 or so, I began to accept silence as being good for me, becoming accustomed to listening to myself first as opposed to listening to others and expecting that everything that was happening around me was happening for a reason when it really wasn’t, it was mayhem pure and simple.

Time went by this, two, three, then four years. It was the kind of time you want to sweep under the rug and never see again..

Then the modest little beep—it sounded just like a beginning—and then another little beep or two and so forth.  The phone was right where I’d left it.