The politics of pollution and contamination

As if one Jerry Falwell wasn't enough, there is now another--Jerry Falwell Jr.

Never vote for a man or a woman with a comb-over, as a person with a comb-over can't think clearly and thinking clearly is the name of the game.

When your TV goes on the blink, press the blue circle on the box your cable provider installed for 15 seconds and wait for the system to reboot. If that procedure fails, call 911.

Should you ever invite your neighbor, the president of Iran, over for dinner, make sure to drape drop cloths over the Greco Roman statuary of naked gods and goddesses displayed so proudly on your hearth. Avoid all political and religious conversation, serve pomegranate juice instead of red wine.

In matters of foreign affairs, maybe if we get really tired of hearing about the Mid-East it will just go away. On the other hand, isn't it nice that most of our citizens now know that both Afghanistan and Iraq are located somewhere between Europe and China?

Freedom of speech does not mean you are free to be banal, stupid, ignorant, or mean-spirited, although of course you can be all of these things as a citizen protected by the Constitution of the United States and emboldened by The Bill of Rights.

OK, so we live in a world where love "is a concept invented by poor people", at least according to someone named Brandon Wade. And just who is Brandon Wade? I'm afraid you're going to have to Google him yourself.

Then there's this guy in Michigan, a real beauty, and he's The Governor.