Lately

Lately, it's the moment I turn away from something that I begin to see it and not the moment I first see it that makes it change.

When I look at what I've turned away from I always see it differently.

I see I've often had unreasonable expectations of what I see. That what I see is full of the problem of the need to make something of it, and that the solution can only be seen if both the need to see and the need to make something of what is seen are turned away from. 

My responsibility from now on is to turn away from something in order to see it, and to stay open to revision.

But something's wrong. I should see a doctor, as things are harder for me to see now and much more difficult to say.