At the Rally of Metaphors

The metaphors gathered in the town square and decided to hold a rally in honor of the ex-president.

Signs and banners were made metaphorically out of bright red hats.

A thousand red hats bloomed in the square.

The metaphors picked up steam.

Ice cream was sold around the campfire.

Soon, great thoughts were being exchanged beneath a crystalline azure sky under the sign of the Eagle.

Much hoopla was therefore created by the anticipatory crowd; and still the metaphors waited patiently for the ex-president to speak.

One metaphor after another waved an American flag. The afternoon was personified, feeling like many in the crowd not unlike an old-fashioned barn-raising attended by Marxist farmers and veterans of the revolutionary war who thumped watermelons in the shade.

Then a helicopter signaled to the good earth below—another kind of metaphor—that the ex-president would soon be arriving.

Upon arrival the ex-president speaks with aplomb, painting a wonderfully exciting new picture made of mixed metaphors, including the past, present, and future tenses.

Sunscreen is applied to everyone and everything liberally.

A strong anti-perspirant vibe prevails, but no verbal punches are thrown.

The chainsaw breaks out into song.