Republican Origin Story

In the old days The Republicans were excited to change the world.

They were liberal do-gooders and came out in support of transgender climate change.

Knowing life is hard, Republicans knew the hardest part of life is at the very end; and so they pledged to overturn Roe v. Wade so that every citizen could enjoy a prosperous beginnning.

Most Republicans lived in traditional longhouses in suburban America surrounded by tall trees that looked into their windows.

Many of them grew up to be Supreme Court Justices.

The separation of Church and State, once held sacred by elder members of the party, became a laughable notion espoused only by Communists, Anarchists, and queer poets in San Francisco.

Republicans fought for a balanced federal budget, fearing the Corporate takeover of the government, until it was time to go to war somewhere--anywhere--and spend their grandchildren's inheritance.

Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. 42% of Americans today know who Abraham Lincoln was, but not the same 42%  who continue to support the current Administration and think of Abraham Lincoln as a liberal Democrat named Bernie Sanders.