The pottery of gun control

I have a solution to the gun problem:

Let's all just shoot one another.

CNN and Fox News can 'cover' it, after first bidding for broadcast rights and agreeing to certain territorial sovereignties.

Network officials and anchor people could then turn the guns on themselves and the end of civilization promoted and televised as the sort of conflagration the media adores.

(One cameraman and one news writer of opposite sex would be spared so that the world could be assured of going on as something other than a re-run).

Another solution:

Collect and melt down all weaponry and commission Jeff Koons to create a monumental statue from it, so grand it could be seen from anywhere in the world.

Anytime anyone's tempted to take up arms against another human being, the statue would provide visual admonishment.

Koons could even top the thing with antlers of barbed wire, as a metaphoric grace note celebrating the old world.

If neither of these solutions prove workable, every citizen could be issued ten pounds of good clay and access to a potter's wheel, as there's nothing that promotes good feeling and well-being more than making something real with your own hands.

I know I'm naive, and I don't own a gun.