Fire and water

"Have you ever been lost?

"Twice."

I tell the story of both times, twice. Both times I was in the wilderness, once by the Tule River near The Sequoias, once in the woods just east of Big Sur. But really, I want to say, I've been lost all my life.

"What's being lost?

"It's not not knowing where you're going, it's about not getting to where you're going."

I'm speechless, there's no more I can say. Someone's built a fire by the lake and a bunch of us men have gathered. It's late, cold, there's snow and ice on the shore. I stand up and look into the fire. I like to be able to move around if the wind shifts and the smoke changes direction. My focus remains on the fire, it demands focus.