John Coltrane

Most of what's admired at the time isn't very good, or the real good in it isn't discovered until much later.

In this context we were talking about what good childhood's we'd had. Childhood was almost carefree, idyllic, full of open fields right by the ocean. Dave and John agreed, remembering things I hadn't remembered.

Dave remembered that we used to go to The Lighthouse, the jazz club in Hermosa Beach, in our early teens. We couldn't get in, we were underage, but in the summer the owner of the club, the legendary Howard Rumsey, left the top-half of the Dutch door open and we'd listen to the music from the sidewalk.

John remembered seeing Wes Montgomery, Mongo Santamaria, Jimmy Smith, Gabor Szabo, Cannonball Adderly. I remembered The Lighthouse too, though not as well as John and Dave.

We talked about our fathers a lot. We remembered how tough they were, and how different we are from them. We all agreed how much we'd learned from them, good and not-so-good, and that they'd done the best they could.

John's father is still alive, now in his 90's, with full-time care. Dave and I lost our father's some time ago, but things are still being revealed to us about them which helps us understand the parts of our childhood that weren't so good.

Driving home last night from my time with Dave and John, north on 101, I listened to John Coltrane play "Spirituality, recorded live at the Village Vanguard, 1961. The music is so good, so intense that there are moments when you wonder as a listener how Coltrane lived through the making of it, that there could very well be nothing left of him at the end.

Almost as amazing was to hear at the end of Coltrane's piece was the very small, almost timid applause by the audience.