Doors in North Beach

I've reached a place in my life where I know I'll never understand it.  

It's either what I think it is or not what I thought it was at all.

Often I'm so embarrassed to be me--to see myself by chance in a strange window when I'm not really looking and wonder who it is I'm seeing; then seeing  it's me and still not knowing who I am.

I prefer doors to windows, to be on the other side of what's closed to see if I can open it up all by myself.

Walking around North Beach at night the thought occured to me that the real purpose of a city is to take you so far away from yourself that you can find a place to be who you are.