Applying to graduate school for an advanced degree in philosophy

You must be older than 30, at a time in your life when you're interested in learning how little you can live with instead of how much.

Be 15 minutes early for the appointment with The Dean, who will be 15 minutes late.

Don't answer, "Wittgenstein" when asked by The Dean why you're interested in philosophy. Answer instead, "the pre-Socratics" or "Blaise Pascal."

If the Dean asks, "are you married?", say yes but that you're having some difficulties with your partner. If he persists, change the subject. If he asks if you have children, say no, especially if you have children.

Seeing what a dumb idea it is to go to graduate school at such a late age, with a wife and two children, a good job in the communications industry which promises to become even better in terms of compensation and prestige, conclude the interview gracefully at the first sign of the Dean's negativity.

The Dean will look at you and shake his head subtly, not enough to indicate he is discouraging you and not enough to indicate he is taking you seriously, but just enough to indicate some doubt in his mind that you have the philosophical potential necessary to make the commitment.

Now stand up, thank the Dean for his interest and his time and say you'll give the prospect your best thinking.

Years after the interview, try to imagine what your life would have become had you persisted, had you actually applied to grad school and earned an advanced degree in philosophy, and understand how that very imagination you're using to imagine what your life would have become has become your very own philosophy.