the year is ending on a bridge, looking at a river

Finally he realized he wasn't a great athlete, and that he would never get out of being who he is.

Surprised, sometime in April, by how much this self-knowledge hurt at first, he got over the sting by June and moved on.

Travel, however, was out of the question for the time being.

Better to stay put, staring out the window or at the screen of holy interconnnectedness, than to go all the way across Canada by train as previously planned.

Thinking this way took a whole year of his life; in retrospect, every moment was more than worth it.

While big changes were always coming and going, little things determined the lifeflow, how the heart beat, how the brain acted behind the scenes in both everyday and emergency situations.

In the new year, he'd strive to be kinder to himself and to others, knowing others were more or less like him, while noting the comic differences and trying to resist final judgment.